I would hang a small calabash of cold water on my shoulders, a sling on my left hand and leave home to protect my father’s territory from invaders,
The sun would strike hard at noon, leaving everyone desperate for a cup of cold water, all animals would hide under giant leafy trees,
Strong winds would wipe through the starving face of land, only the strongest would survive,
I would leave at dusk, after a long tiresome day in the field alone, but with a ray of hope that the sun shall rise again tomorrow, and it’s going to be a better day!
They loved holding hands in public, wrapping their hands around each other during evening walks,
Sunset photoshoots was their favourite thing, they really loved taking pictures,
Bosco was Andy’s favourite dog, he would never leave him behind, even on official duties,
They were loyal to each other, sometimes Lucia would get jealous of him,
Open your eyes, can’t you see the young men are being buried alive? most of them are fighting to survive,
After completing their studies in the university and failing to secure a white collar job, they end up doing odd jobs,
While men are dominating the informal sector, pushing wheelbarrows to earn a living, the other gender is parading a fleet of cars,
This might look like any other joke by Mr. Bean, but trust me the male gender is in deep trouble!
Be silent, the king is passing! Mute your siren, the black despot is listening!
Behold, his loyal gun men are all over the streets, determined to open fire,
The lakeside barbarian stings like a full grown python, dare him not,
He’s drunk in power, he’s following the routes of Muammar Gaddafiof Libya and his excellency Idi Amin Dada,
Powerful lights are switched on to allow a clear vision for the security cameras hanging outside the bungalow,
Up in the watch tower, two men in uniform have their ears wide open, with radio calls to alert their colleagues when danger pops up,
The main gate is manned by three tall men with powerful fire arms, just to make sure the mogul gets a soft sleep,
Outside the walls of the “heaven on earth”, trained police dogs are sniffing around, the king will never debate on his own safety, not at all!
Princess was way above my league, actually her family resided in one of the high end estates in Kenya, Kileleshwa,
Late night calls was her thing, we could talk for more than two hours untill sleep catches up with one of us,
She insisted that we should meet in town, so during my off days I boarded a matatu to town, to meet my soulmate,
We met in one of the five star hotels in town, she paid for the food and drinks too, all this time I was hanging in disbelief,
An infectious smile, sleeping side eyes and a tight skirt around the headquarters of Gomorah was a lethal weapon used by “slay queens” then,
Christmas was over, new year celebrations were fading out peacefully, as usual the 100 days of Njaanuary were here to stay, the long count down began, the first day!
We welcomed the new year in style, Musyoka and I were walking around searching for new liquor stores to quench our thirst,
With bling bling jewelry around my neck, a mo-hawk with a sharp zig zag hair cut and new white sneakers, I was feeling hotter than the solar system,
I want to play jazz for Jasmine, call the maidens for me, i want to pop a bottle of champagne,
Take a look at her beautiful legs, a laud of applause as she steps on the Dias,
I bless the day your mama gave birth to you, were it not for her, where would I find such a peacock,?
Walk with me little princess, just like Joshua I’ll take you to the promised land.
There is this day I boarded one mbukoni safaris famously known as the “jungle warrior” we left the city at around 4pm in the afternoon,
It started raining cats and dogs, thunder and lightning became the order of the day, the roads became slippery!
At exactly 11:45 pm I alighted, the rain intensified, there were no courier services around, so I had no choice but to walk towards home,
I looked up in sky as a way to signal the deity to strangle the intensity of heaven taps but the full moon was just staring at me,
Before I lose my sight to the spirits of old age, before I bend like a crescent moon, just before I lose my soft skin to the witches of the East, I will call for a rendezvous of all the children I will have sired, whether young or old, dark or light skinned, I shall…